It's the Mitchells!: The Emotional Roller Coaster of July 2013

Sick and tired. Sick and tired. Sick and tired.

Up and down on the emotional roller coaster.

Andrew and I were in limbo waiting for our pregnancy to come to its conclusion.

We prayed constantly that we would be understanding of God’s will for our family and that all would go as He would have it. We even prayed that if there was a chance we could keep this baby with us, that we could still have a healthy and strong baby. That was something that Andrew started tacking on at the end after a few weeks.

As hard as it was and as emotional as I could be, I can still say that I felt some overarching peace throughout. It didn’t necessarily make it easier but this time I truly knew that it would be okay in the end. It was like going through that metaphorical tunnel. I could see the light. I knew that I would get there. But it was still a tunnel that was difficult to maneuver (think the old “tire tunnel” at Thomas Paine elementary school).

I decided that I wanted things to just happen as they were supposed to. We had been through a miscarriage before and I felt like I had a pretty good handle on how it would go. I didn’t want to incur the expense of a doctor and I didn’t think there was anything they could tell us that would change our course.

I continued to be really sick. I began throwing up more than I had before. It was hard. One night I just cried and cried. I told Andrew, “This is too hard for any one person to bear. It is too much!” That broke his heart. He wanted so much to take away the physical and emotional burdens that I was weighed down by, but he couldn’t. He could only be with me as my body went through it all.

After almost three weeks, I decided that maybe it was time to get an ultrasound and see where we were. I was hoping the baby would pass on its own, but I also know that I seem to have stubborn babies that don’t take kindly to eviction notices. I’m proud to know that my babies are such fighters.

I called around to a few places and got some recommendations. We decided to schedule with a community pregnancy center that offered free testing and ultrasounds through donations of time and money by medical personnel. They were booked for about a week and could only guarantee a pregnancy test on the first visit. That was really disappointing. We really needed an ultrasound to see if we were still pregnant.

I had my test on July 18^th and—no surprise—was still measuring a high enough hormone count to be pregnant. That happened last time with my urine test and so I wasn’t convinced. I sat in the lobby for another hour and a half before they called me back to tell me that they were too busy to fit me in for an ultrasound that day and that I would have to come back in another week. I begged to be allowed to stay in case they had an opening that became available at the last minute but they were pretty firm. I was devastated. Another week to find out.

I talked to Andrew and we decided to just transfer our care to the one practice in town with medical doctors so that we could start to figure out what was going wrong. By the way,

Lynchburg really doesn’t have the baby thing figured out AT ALL. They have two hospitals: one in town that has everything except maternity and psychiatry. For those two specialties you have to go out of town to a Baptist hospital that only has maternity and psychiatry wards. Also, they have one OBGYN practice with several doctors and one midwife practice in addition to the community pregnancy center that can help you for the first twelve weeks of pregnancy. A little bit lacking if you ask me. (I want Dr. McArthur and Orem Community Hospital!)

We made our first appointment at Women’s Health Services for Friday, July 26^th. Andrew has Friday afternoons free. He texted me on his way home from class to see if I wanted him to pick up lunch. Cheeseburgers and fries from McDonald’s have been my one “yes” always food for the last three months. I don’t know what it is. Gross, I know. But it hits the spot. He accidentally sent the text to my entire family on an older mass text thread. My family immediately became suspicious of his innocent question, “How does a cheeseburger happy meal sound?” However, we had nothing to confirm to them.

If I may add—why was my family suspicious of me wanting McDonald’s?! I’m an Isenbarger for crying out loud. We love McDonald’s. We never outgrew that extra special treat from our childhood.

We checked in at Women’s Health Center and they asked a few questions, took our payment, and sent us to the waiting room. We were called back very quickly and taken to an ultrasound room where I was prepped for an ultrasound. Hold on! No paperwork? No questions? No doctor? No easing me into it? Did you want to buy me a drink first? Are you even sure I am who I say I am? Right to the point. Which I guess is a good thing because we were there to find out if we were still pregnant. I thought they may want a history, to know when the first day of my last period was, etc. but nope. Hop on up there!

I WAS SHAKING! Andrew squeezed my hand but I could tell he was nervous as well. Right away our little jumping bean popped up on the screen. And was that baby a mover and a shaker! We both started crying. I still needed to be convinced. I could see our baby’s heart beating so fast but I had to ask, “Is it alive? Is that the heart?” I needed that reassurance.

“There’s your joy!” the ultrasound tech responded. More tears. We couldn’t believe it. WE WERE HAVING A BABY!

We had lots of measurements taken and different views photographed. It was amazing! We loved every minute of it. I couldn’t stop crying and shaking throughout. What a miracle.

Our baby is measuring ahead of its gestational age which coincides with what I was thinking. Our gestational due date was originally February 8 but baby measured to a due date of February 5. Thanks to my meticulous calendar-keeping, I am going to say February 6 pretty confidently. Twelve weeks and a day at our ultrasound. We were overjoyed.

We met briefly with a nurse practitioner who advised us to begin our prenatal care appointments and then I had some lab work to figure out my blood type. Needles. Blech. This is going to be a crazy ride since I freak out about needles and IVs. She wasn't able to explain the symptoms that I had back at the end of June and maybe that will remain an unanswered question for us.

Andrew and I went and got ice cream to celebrate. We were basking in the news. We were pregnant!

We know that this baby is another choice spirit from our Heavenly Father—already showing courage and defiance in the face of adversity. We are in awe by such a heroic child! It is humbling as parents, to have such an incredibly awesome person joining our family.